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"Toddler and tiara: Meghan Markle STILL throwing tantrums about royal family"

This is Maureen Callahan's latest takedown of Megan Markle. It features this hellacious crack:

“At one point in our conversation,” writes Allison P. Davis, “instead of answering a question, she [Markle] will suggest how I might transcribe the noises she’s making: ‘She’s making these guttural sounds, and I can’t quite articulate what it is she’s feeling in that moment because she has no word for it; she’s just moaning.’ ”

This might be the single most insane thing I’ve ever read in a celebrity profile. Truly, it’s Charlie Kaufman-esque: Meghan evincing such pain she’s non-verbal, yet verbalizing why she’s ostensibly non-verbal to her profiler, who Meghan says should tell us that Meghan doesn’t know what she’s feeling because Meghan told her, in Meghan’s own words, that there are no words for it.