Newmark's Door

The Babylon Bee updates the Beach Boys classic.

"Ryan’s timing is impeccable. Add to it those fantastic facial expressions and his 'shy' attitude and he comes out a winner every time. I have seen most of these stories multiple times and each time I laugh and just want to get to know him personally. His career will be timeless."

"Smart dog helps his human moves tires and figures out how to carry four tires in one bite."

"This will brighten your day."

If only it were that easy.

All of this is a good reminder that one of the best ways of fighting against the enemies of liberty on the left is with humor.  Being a happy warrior for the pro-freedom right.  So

That'll show that cat. :-)

This is Maureen Callahan's latest takedown of Megan Markle. It features this hellacious crack:

“At one point in our conversation,” writes Allison P. Davis, “instead of answering a question, she [Markle] will suggest how I might transcribe the noises she’s making: ‘She’s making these guttural sounds, and I can’t quite articulate what it is she’s feeling in that moment because she has no word for it; she’s just moaning.’ ”

This might be the single most insane thing I’ve ever read in a celebrity profile. Truly, it’s Charlie Kaufman-esque: Meghan evincing such pain she’s non-verbal, yet verbalizing why she’s ostensibly non-verbal to her profiler, who Meghan says should tell us that Meghan doesn’t know what she’s feeling because Meghan told her, in Meghan’s own words, that there are no words for it.

Remarkable.

The Babylon Bee, of course.

Made me smile.

Another fine piece by The Babylon Bee. "There's no need to call the police if you see someone with a gun strapped to their hip," "No one cares about your preferred pronouns," and eight others.