"A University President Responds to Those Who Have Suggested the School Should Dip into the Endowment"
Quite funny and too close to the truth for comfort. From McSweeney's.
The Board has, however, asked me to convey this message to our valued community: “What is good for the endowment is good for us all. All things flow to the endowment and from the endowment. We love our beautiful endowment . . ." It goes on like that for a while, but the gist is that, if you think about this whole thing less as a school with an endowment and more as an endowment with educational benefits, our budget adjustments start to appear quite reasonable, and you start to sound pretty crazy for even bringing up this endowment nonsense.