"Voracious swamp rodents set off alarms in California"
"Tesla Update Requires Owner to Tweet Praise at Elon Musk Before Car Starts"

"Giants can’t let this Saquon Barkley absurdity happen again"

Sports fans outside of the Big Apple should take some comfort that their situation, however bad, probably isn't the worst:

Our basketball teams always run the wrong plays. Our hockey teams constantly play the wrong goalie. Our owners always hire the wrong GMs, and our GMs always acquire the wrong players, and our players always make the wrong decisions.

Or so it seems, anyway, in the throes of intense, passionate, but ultimately helpless fandom.