Newmark's Door

You just knew this was coming:

That’s it, folks. There’s nothing left to eat. With news this week that salad may be hazardous to your health, it’s clear we all need to stop eating altogether.

Let’s face it, food is a killer. . . .

Despite all the schizophrenic diet advice consumers hear on a daily basis, one thing has remained consistent: vegetables are good for you. But no more. Now, salad’s a killer. According to a new “study” (produced by researcher who must have looked around and said, “There’s nothing left to demonize! How will I make a name for myself?”), salad is making you feel anxious, depressed, and unable to fall asleep, among other disturbing outcomes.