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"How To Write A New York Times Op-Ed In Three Easy Steps"

Ann Coulter, doing her thing.

Today we'll talk about how to write a New York Times op-ed in 45 minutes or less. We all like labor-saving tips! 

The main point to keep in mind is that your op-ed is not intended to elucidate, educate or amuse. These are status pieces meant to strike a pose, signaling that you are a good person. 

After reading your op-ed, readers should feel the warm sensation of being superior to other people -- those who don't agree with you. The idea is to be in fashion. It's all about attitude, heavy on eye-rolling.