Amusing comments from customer reviews that Zagat's lawyers didn't let them attribute to specific restaurants. Examples:

For real Chinese food, not the place to go. For blondes in short black dresses, your appetite may be satisfied.

Prepare for a three Tums experience.

At least the cockroach enjoyed my salad.

Portions so small I started laughing -- prices so high I started crying.

Have yet to learn that heat is an integral part of the cooking process.

Abandon tastebuds all ye who enter here.

For the price, the lobster should have come via overnight express, not pony express.

'Breaking bread' should not mean you have to use the side of the table.

The quiche of death.

My Russian mother makes better French food.

Should shut down the restaurant and just serve the view.

Food [is] is served as cold as the faux-stone pillars, and as slowly as the Romans advancing over the Dolomites in a particularly harsh winter.