"Recently, I decided to sequence my DNA in my spare time. 'How hard can it be,' I figured. 'There must be a machine on eBay that does all the work.' Besides, for my masters thesis in computer science I had applied numerical modeling techniques to studying sea urchin embryos. I was cross-disciplinary, god damn it.

"I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Biotech protocols are more like cooking than engineering."