"Taylor Swift: A Socratic Dialogue"

From McSweeney's

TAYLOR SWIFT: Tell me, Socrates, must the player always play, play, play?

SOCRATES: Well, that depends on what it is to be a player and what it means to play. Could you be more specific?

SWIFT: I’m thinking of the dirty, dirty cheats of the world. Those about whom so many get down and out while they could be getting down to sick beats. Alcibiades, for example, abandoned Athens and sought refuge in Sparta, then left Sparta for Persia before finally returning to Athens, leaving an inter-imperial trail of broken hearts.

SOCRATES: Yes, I see. Alcibiades is, in fact, a player who will play, play, play.

SWIFT: Yes, very much so.

"Right now, Philadelphia is the saddest pro sports city in America"

"Some caveats, before everyone yells at me on Twitter: I am only speaking about pro sports cities, i.e. cities with pro sports. I agree that people in Twin Falls, Idaho have no pro sports, and thus are probably a sadder pro sports city. But for a city like Philadelphia, with a proud pro sports tradition and teams in all the four major sports, things are dire right now."

Reminds me of an old Lily Tomlin bit:

I'll tell you - I wanted to do a cheer for New York, while I'm here. [ snapping fingers ] And . . . this is the composition that comes to mind:

Cheer up, New York, 'cause you're okay
Though the President says you won't last another day.
I'm here to say you're here to stay
And mention, by the way, if I may
You got the greatest culture, symphonies and plays
Also shopping, eating, meeting places and subways
Take pride in yourself, you could be . . . Philadelphia.

And the last word on the recent student protests goes to . . .

Charles C. W. Cooke, for his truly excellent "Hamilton College Students’ List of Demands Doesn’t Go Nearly Far Enough". Sample:

In the wake of the new set of demands that were issued yesterday by our comrades over at Hamilton College, we at Academical College feel emboldened to offer a few appeals of our own. Herewith, a few requests that aim to address the immediate problems facing our school:

. . . 

13. The immediate appointment of a Dean of Diversity.

14. The immediate firing of the Dean of Diversity, on the grounds that his/her/xy/wirry/grub title derives from the Roman word “decānus.” The Romans were a slave-owning people.

Related, and a close second, "Educayshun,"a seven-minute video that's a little too close to the truth for comfort

UPDATE: link fixed now. Thanks, Elliott!