Wonderful piece by James Lileks. I laughed out loud.
This three-meals-a-day thing? It’s anti-science. So says Mother Jones magazine, touting a book by one Heather Carroll. For the Left, anti-science is a serious charge, because you might be a Denier. I once remarked that I wasn’t particularly worried about nuclear waste, because in a few decades we could probably bring it up to orbit in a space elevator and shoot it into the sun with a rail gun. A reasonable reply would be a discussion of the feasibility of space elevators, but my interlocutor looked at me as though I had suggested making the waste disappear by chanting Bible verses while shaking a dried gourd full of rattling pebbles.
Go here for many more laughs.
Female Senior Student: “Sir, are you Facebook friends with your parents?”
Her: “How did you swing that?”
Me: “My mother asked me how to get on ‘the Facebook’ and I told her there’s a monthly fee. So she didn’t join.”
Her: “That’s awful!”
Male Student: “That’s brilliant!”
Female Student: “This is why I never want sons.”
Grade 10 Student: “Sir, can you break a twenty?”
He holds out a twenty dollar bill.
Me: “Sorry. I don’t have any cash on me.”
Him: “Too bad. I was gonna buy you a coffee.”
Me: “Well, that’s nice of you.”
He stands looking at me, waiting.
Him: “Oh, so you really don’t have change.”
Me: “You thought I was lying?”
Him: “I thought maybe you were being cheap.”
Me: “But we were just going to exchange twenty dollars for twenty dollars.”
Him: “I’m not good at math.”
Expensive and a bit messy, but I'll second that.
Short and funny.
Although we refer to this as an upgrade, it is, at best, a lateral move. The software does the same things as before, except your favorite features have been moved to a place where you will never find them again.
Made me laugh, particularly #6 and #9.
P. J. O'Rourke tells some tales. (Including one about throwing Dixie Chick CDs out of the Chinook.)